I know you
by Shrike
Summary: Insights in tekken characters, written in somewhat unorthodox way. Scratch beneath the surface, delve into what they really are made of… in my eyes, anyway. Do check out. Ch. 3. - JUN (and some Jin too :)
1. Jin

Ok, here's something new. I have imagined this fic as series of monologues by Angel (the character isn't important as herself, but as the omniscient narrator here), her pondering on other tekken characters. Picture her, if you will, perched on some rooftop, observing the world, invisible to us mere mortals :). Must say in advance there are no tekken characters I truly dislike, but that doesn't mean that I'll go easy on the ones I like – meaning; however it may sound from time to time, I really am not doing this to bash anyone. Reality bites enough itself, ne?

The chapters will be short, as separate streams of thoughts, so please give it a try. As much as I love your comments, I'd be even more interested in some of your own observations on the characters. I have read thoughts of some ppl on the subject, that were so simple yet so insightful, they left me stunned. Share your visions :)

Feel free to criticize my opinions and points of view, but please ignore my grammar and style as I'm not a native speaker and am really not as comfortable as you are writing in English :)

And, nope, I don't own the game or any of the characters.

The first will be Jin, pre tekken 4 and before morphing into a Devil version. It was written in one breath

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JIN KAZAMA

I know you. I know who you are.

Just because you don't have blood on your hands, doesn't mean you're innocent.

I watch you train hard every day, work your fingers to the bone, wake up and fall asleep with the single thought in mind. I watch you leave home from practice each day with bleeding knuckles and a bleeding heart.

And you think you deserve my sympathy?

I watch you protect those weaker than you, watch you swallow your pride and walk away from pointless fights. I watch you do good and honorable deeds, generously and without ever thinking about yourself.

And you believe you at least have my gentle understanding?

No.

Because I can see your soul and know it isn't pure. In depths of your heart lies a monster… that is you. The OTHER side of you.

Don't lie to yourself; you feel the deep hum of his growl every time you close your eyes, you KNOW he's there, watching, waiting for his time to come. And just as both of you know it eventually has to come, you BOTH crave for that moment.

You cannot justify, even only to yourself, that strong and primitive urge for a simple, gory revenge. Don't try to find excuses… no, you're not doing the world a favor; no, you're not paying back for your betrayed trust; no, you're not doing it for all who suffered or died during all these years… the truth is, you are selfishly indulging in anger, encouraging it to grow inside you, nurturing it, deliberately building up the pressure util the vent explodes.

Or did you think that shameful, feral side of you isn't you at all?

I watch your aloof, mysterious figure as it, uninterested in the world around, walks by with an unreadable expression and shake my head. You're deceiving yourself boy; I can clearly see HIS red eyes in murky depths beneath that smooth surface of your face. Blame it on your heritage, blame it on your past – but the fact is; you will eventually drown in the black sea of your own resentment and anger.

And you know what?

The stronger you are, the stronger HE gets. Because, what really drives you on isn't at all as pure as that facade you put up – you may fool the world, but you're not fooling me. I see through you boy. It is HATE inside, a blind hate that will eventually consume you whole… can't say you won't deserve it, sadly. In the end, admit it or not; it was your choice. There can be no 'righteous' or 'justified' hate… and, deep inside, you know it too.

And you know one more thing?

You will lose. Maybe not against your opponents, but… you'll find yourself down on your knees at the brink of your biggest triumph. At that decisive moment, at that final battle, HE will emerge and claim the victory you so diligently prepared him for. Or did you think HE'd share the sweet taste of glory with you? You practically served him your soul as a bonus.

Besides, boy, what makes you think HE'll want to stop there? You had the chance to stop too, to let go and move on, so why didn't you?

While honing your body into a perfect weapon for such low causes, you were sharpening HIS teeth and claws. Don't be surprised when he uses them to tear you open from the inside and set himself free. To fuel your dismal fire, you're using the force you cannot possibly contain… Can you even begin to imagine just how powerful hate can be, if it's the weapon you decide to wield?

Such a tragic, ironic choice…

You may be aware it cuts both ways, but are you aware of the whole extent of the devastation it can bring? Mind-shattering, literally, and I'm more and more convinced you'll feel it on your own skin. Hate takes no prisoners, spares no one in its way, sides against everybody, brings no piece or resolution… Instead of despising, you should have taken the time to learn at least that from the ones whose fall you're so eager to cause. Or are you so blind you don't see you've almost become one of them?

After all, didn't they ALL call their revenge 'justice'?

Every time you charge on with your heart set ablaze by blind hate, you're tearing off your white wings with your own hands. It's a thin line between light and utter darkness you're walking every time you convince yourself you have some God-given right to decide who will live and who has to die.

Whoever makes that mistake and believes he's worthy enough to deliver such 'justice', can never have my sympathy or understanding.

What drives you on, can drive you mad… remember.

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Comments, reviews, half baked philosophies welcome. Till soon, I hope :)


	2. Hwoarang

THANKS to Karisan-karisan and BideOnFire so such nice comments. It's because of you guys I updated so soon (to be honest, I expected this fic to go unnoticed, since it lacks the 'juicy' details). Yeah, good point, some chars do seem to be stashed in the game just for comic relief, some are just creepy (like Dr. B. shudder) and some just plain stupid imho (Gon hint hint). As for sex appeal I never did understand why did they make Julia's panties (since they already made them visible Oo) white, out of all colors? With e.g. her crazy nail polish, I have a hard time imagining other aspects of her personality so… vanilla? OK, ok, am not a pervert, it's just a random thought :). Who wouldn't just adore such useless philosophic blabber?

ahem

Anyway, on to the next chapter. I decided to take a shot at Hwoarang well… I guess because he's one of the most popular chars (judging by the fics anyway). If you're a fangirl and hate my POV, feel free to drop a comment and say why. If you for some reason like it, please do likewise :). Reviews are for a writer like a fuel is for a jet-plane; they make him go, faster and further. If you don't believe me, try it out. Anyway, thanks to the reviewers again. -

Must warn you in advance this chapter has a bit different atmosphere than the last one, simply cos I was in a different mood. Maybe you'll notice it, maybe you won't. It's impossible to filter out everything about yourself when you write; there's a bit of its author in every single story you read :)

Enjoy

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HWOARANG

Remember that day when everything stopped? The moment you got stuck in, the period you refuse to leave?

I know you're always finding excuses not to stop and look back at the past several years of your life and admit… you're lost again, aren't you?

An abandoned child… each one is a different, tragic story. A curse that marks you for life. Already out of reach of your conscious memory lies the painful thorn you pushed deep inside and buried it there. Maybe you don't see in anymore, but you still feel it digging into you, making you put on the widest grin when you most feel like breaking down, driving you to get up every time you fall on your face, forcing you to display dangerous and warning thorns to the outside world, over and over again. Remarkably, you actually managed to turn some of the bitterness into your advantage.

But, while you bristle with confidence and cocky charisma on the outside, I see the cold emptiness within you. Nothing seems real or worth beginning anymore. Don't you feel it's about time you asked yourself: what exactly am I waiting for?

Last time it was Baek who pulled you out of the mud and made you what you are today. You were like a son to him, did you know that? Although he never said a word, he was very proud of you. It was no simple feat domesticating a young wolf though, especially since you weren't making it easy on him. You never could stand any authority, could you? He managed to make a more-or-less socially functioning man out of, let's face it, a…

…rejection.

Oh, although you'd rather die than admit it, you desperately wanted to belong somewhere, to be treated as a worthy person, to be seriously acknowledged. Only the ones, who never had to work to gain those privileges, take them for granted. The main cause of your tendency to provoke the law and of your juvenile delinquency was merely an angry answer to their looks from above, their coldness and open contempt. If you couldn't make them accept you, you could at least make them fear you.

The tough street punk image is cool, but not as a full-time job though… not that you ever asked for anybody's friendship or a helping hand. Too proud. Too bad. Boy, if you don't learn to discern the fine difference between dignity and pride, you will never become a completely mature person.

Or a happy one.

Baek recognized your skills, tested your will and developed your body and mind. Most importantly, being true to his call of a mentor, he gave you a goal in life; something for you to focus all that life energy towards. Now he was the ideal you strove to reach, he was the tallest tree you wanted to take down, the peak you had to conquer. Your life finally had a meaning and your teacher set a perfect example for you to follow.

In spite of yourself, no matter how many times your hot-headed ego vowed through gritted teeth never to do, you became bonded to him. Not to your gang, or even to your national army, but to your mentor belonged your true loyalty. He, and the sacred memory of him, were the only things you never abandoned.

But what about yourself?

Mr Big Time on the outside, larger than life, invincible and challenging, a bad ass on a bike… so maybe you are all of those things too. The combination certainly leaves a strong impression on onlookers. Life has thrown a lot of ugliness at you and you coped pretty well, that I must give you.

And still… don't expect me to respect someone who cannot respect himself.

Or you think you got me fooled with all that bravado and immature boasting? You've abandoned yourself in so many ways… flirting with danger, living on the edge, avoiding responsibility, provoking and daring anyone who makes an eye contact with you – do you think that's bravery boy? A display of your power? No, it's foolishness, at best.

You'd be the first to arrogantly snort it away as a treat of the crazy and the weak, but that's exactly what you are like – self-destructive to the core. In truth, you don't love your life all that much.

And why?

Your existence… it has no real zeal, no goal, no meaning. You lost your beacon the day Baek fell. Since then I've been watching you coming and going like a lost soul, walking in circles like a blind man, too proud to let that bitter déjà vu feeling, you never really dealt with, enter your heart again.

Yes, I know exactly what you're thinking… A big, strong tough-guy like you cannot feel the pain of abandonment, right? The feeling of being all alone and lost in the world in only for losers, is it not?

Instead, you chose to pursue some guy you accidentally fought to the end of the world, even though he couldn't care less about who won or lost, or even if he ever saw you again. It was not he who ran away, but you – YOU fled from your pain by turning it into anger; from your quest for own meaning by turning it into a quest for revenge. You took the easy way out, convincing the world you actually chose the thorny path of direct confrontation. The trouble is – instead of yourself, you insist on confronting an anonymous adversary that makes no difference in your life whatsoever and was practically picked at random. The victory that eluded you in that old duel became an excuse, a reason for and a ticket to years of 'justified' avoidance of life.

Seen from that perspective, your tireless chase doesn't seem all that impressive…

You hid the sad, deserted child inside you behind the mighty victory-thirsty fighter and loudly pronounced how proud you were of your infantile stubbornness, making sure you're kept busy so you would never, ever have to stop and think. You can run, but you cannot hide, boy. So what if you've got the entire world fooled and watching with eyes wide in admiration and mouths ajar in amazement? The world doesn't matter anyway – in the end, it will all be at your loss, and your loss only. And, although it saddens me deeply, I cannot open your eyes for you. No one can live your life, but yourself. It's a privilege, just as much it's also a curse; it's what you make it, life is.

But, yet, you've found another 'beacon' to follow, have shackled yourself to the past. You have deserted yourself…

…became a man living someone else's life by measuring the only value of his own by winning or losing against an opponent in whose life he practically didn't exist. You can threat and shout and throw punches in the air, but that won't make you any more real or alive – in his eyes, or even in yours, if you're honest to yourself for once.

Ever since that day a part of you has been sleeping, frozen in time.

Simply put, you chose to stay in that moment when you first fought Jin, when Baek was still alive, you were still on the top of the world and everything had its place. I know you know it's irrational and senseless, but, in some twisted way, in your mind that defeat became the point of no return, the root of all wrongness, the second the time stopped and everything became blurred and warped. You stubbornly refused to move on, to adapt to new circumstances, to face your loss and grief.

But time stops for no man.

Here's an idea… imagine you could somehow magically go back, turn the outcome of that duel in your favor and make everything fine again. Sounds like a fairytale plot for kids, doesn't it? Why are you trying to live it then? Even if you won the re-mach, you wouldn't win. You cannot. You're fighting against a phantom; you're doomed to chase your own tale endlessly this way.

The little boy in your heart will never, ever die; it's a blessing rare people are granted with. You'll always have that daredevil gleam in your eyes, a naughty grin on your face and air of optimism, unpredictability and hazard around you. Life, with all its cold hail and dark thunderclouds, couldn't turn him into a grumpy, frowning cynic. But the child is also living in a child's world – a luxury you, in the REAL one, unfortunately cannot afford.

Do you wish to trot behind some person or the other your entire lifetime? Call it silent admiration and respect then or loud challenges and dares now – it is basically the same thing. A leash.

Sooner or later, you'll have to find a new meaning, the REAL meaning and stop fighting one battle that for all the others, except yourself, ended a long time ago. It is over, let go, look ahead. Find the courage within your heart and open your eyes. You need no other people to lead you through life anymore; the boy inside is a man outside now.

Either that, or live to see the day you realize that, not only you were a mere coward, but don't know who you are at all.

It's your choice.

Poor misguided soul, do you know what hell is? …never-ending repetition, a constant, perpetual reliving of the same thing, the same moment. Whatever comes your way, once you decide to break the vicious circle, at least cannot be worse. Believe in yourself, leap and, instead of falling down, you'll soar away.

Besides, I am here, constantly on guard, with one hand always on your shoulder, to guide and protect you.

Have faith.

Wake up.

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Just to make sure; I intended no Christian connotations here, with all that 'faith' talk. The more I wrote this chapter, the more I felt I was talking about everybody – we all could use a kick in the bt to start appreciating life and each moment we have :)

Anyway, this is just one aspect of Hwo's personality and I know it's radically different than some of your visions, so do share them with me. Am most intrigued. Some tekken characters would make great psychoanalysis material, don't you think? :)

Next time I think I'll do Jun or Nina… we'll see


	3. Jun

haha yeah **krappkarmin**, I too think if they all listened to this 'constructive criticism', they'd quit fighting for good. God forbid! :) Looking from that perspective, I think the more suitable name for this fic would be "What's your problem" hehe. TNX for the review!

**Winterfall007**, **TheWishOfNight**, **MooNTeARZ**, **Karisan-karisan**, **Carol **– thank you so much. Your comments rock! I hope you'll continue reading this stuff, if for nothing else, than to tell me it's crap :). Love to you all.

And on we go…

Jun is one remarkable character. Although she had so little 'screen time' she always seems to be present somehow, in fics as in tekken games. Well, instead of the picture of a guiding spirit she acquired through the time, I'm looking here at the flesh-and-bone woman. She was a tough cookie though, being so perfect and all :). While writing this text I was astounded just how much it's about Jin also, but I guess he was THE most important thing in her life, so it figures. I guess -

Enjoy

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JUN

You… the one who called out for me, asking for my guidance and help so many times; the one who believed in me more than all the others. The one who never judged anybody, in love with life and in harmony with nature. The one who had generously devoted her whole existence to work and care for the greater, common good, investing her time and energy in the bright vision she carried inside. The one who wanted to make the world a better place by starting from herself. A pure and precious soul indeed…

But instead of a saint, you became a martyr.

Such a loss…but, you always did know you would have to pay dearly for ignoring your intuition, didn't you?

When you first saw him, you instinctively recognized Kazuya's demonic secret but chose not to react to it; he couldn't hide the evil inside his heart from you no more than you can hide your moment of weakness from me. I know you were drawn to him like a moth to a flame, I saw your heart and willpower change. In that moment you decided to give in to the magnetic feeling of attraction that so suddenly possessed you, blindly deciding to suffer all possible future consequences, thinking you were the only one who would have to bear them anyway.

You were so wrong.

It wasn't you who ended up hating everything about yourself, right to the core of your own being.

You aren't the one afraid to fall asleep at night in fear that when you wake up in the morning you might not be yourself at all, but someone or someTHING unrecognizable.

In the end, you aren't the one dreading her own possible immortality, already perceiving her life as nothing but an endless pain, struggle and agony.

You won't be the one wishing you had never been born.

But still…

The love you felt and gave was pure and innocent, without any calculations, hidden motivations, ambitions or pretense. There was nothing unclean about your feelings; in fact, they elevated you and made you more angel-like than you were ever before as a mortal.

Love of that kind can never be wrong; it grants people who experience it a glimpse of true divinity.

But, fortunately or unfortunately, nothing on Earth was meant to last.

When Kazuya died, you were on your own. Well… not quite. There was a new life inside you, one tiny heart beating below yours. The only thing your lover left behind – a child.

It killed your sleep, didn't it, the feeling of guilt during those nine months, when you gazed up at the Moon, night by night, pondering on blessings and curses of this unexpected motherhood? After fighting for your baby's soul and after winning him some more time of peaceful bliss, every single day you looked for treacherous signs of an ominous change on your son, dreading the moment you knew had to come. Though still young and with so many plans ahead, you gave them all up the second you found out you were pregnant: a feeble attempt to repent for moments of your carelessness. You consciously gave up your future and dedicated every moment, from that second on, to your child…

…because you knew YOU were responsible for the black mark on the child's heart he would have to learn to live and cope with, or die trying. For his new, innocent soul, the Mishima's blood was a scorching poison that not even your light of purity could neutralize. You could guess that, at one point, his life would turn into a living nightmare, that he would have to fight for the salvation of his own immortal soul, tear it away from greedy clutches of the claws you irresponsibly shoved him into.

Oh, I know you would have given anything to trade places with him, to offer yourself as a target for all his future pain; anything if he could at least have a clean start… Tragically, with realization he'll suffer for your mistakes, your punishment and regret are made even graver.

You couldn't forgive yourself because you knew that, during those sweet love-games between you and Kazuya, you had no right to play with somebody else's destiny. Whatever happened, it should have stayed between the two of you, with no effect on anybody else, especially somebody's whole life.

But, in the mindless heat of passion, that's exactly what you allowed to happen.

Your child will have to pay the price for your short-lasting union with the devil incarnate… Later, you will prove that, just like your selfishness was endless than, your unselfishness could be just as great; a man is the cause of his own downfall, a man is also the cause of his own salvation. Through living for others, you redeemed your soul.

In a way tragic, in a way a happy event – the birth of your son.

I was with you that day when you held your baby-boy in your arms and quietly asked him, through tears, would he ever be able to forgive you. Ironically, although he was half a creature of darkness, you, a daughter of light, already loved him more than the life itself. He was, after all, half a creature of purity as well.

But, no matter what you do, there are demons that refuse to be bottled up or locked away, no matter how thick or strong the walls of their dungeons are … There is a crack in everything and a crack is all they need. Never-sleeping predators inside their prisons can wait for decades to sneak out, if the guards close their eyes only for a moment.

And you were your son's guard for fifteen years…

So, every single day you tried and tried to teach him to uncompromisingly follow righteousness, develop iron will, responsibility, patience, respect, inner strength and mature reasoning. You taught him the importance of love and the value of life. While passing your practical fighting skills onto him, you also taught him there was nothing stronger than gentleness and nothing as gentle as the true strength. You named him Jin; 'humanity', 'virtue', 'benevolence', 'charity', to remind him, again and again, of the TRUE nature of his heart. Most importantly, together with your countless advises and recipes, you taught him that he could achieve anything with his own hands, if he set his mind to it.

You knew very well what you were doing, Jun, knew for battle of what scale you were preparing him for. With that in mind, your means were justified. The boy had to grow up before his time.

But, you didn't rob him of his childhood only by purposeful drill and constant mind-training. By giving birth to him, you sentenced him to an isolated life of a fatherless child, without the luxury of any real friends or close ties to anybody. You sentenced him to be labeled as 'different', given looks, called names just because of what he was… Of what YOU, in the second of his conception, doomed him to be - a haunted man.

Even so, that wasn't your biggest sin, nor was giving birth to him a mistake. Not even your hesitation about telling your son who his father was and WHAT was he really wasn't the worst…

The worst thing you did was isolating your son from the rest of the world.

You've woven a thick cocoon of unconditional love and care around him, with only the two of you in your tiny, idealistic, perfect world. Instead of pointing out to him what people were really like, with all their imperfections and flaws, you taught him to see only the good in them. Because all he ever spoke was truth, he was living the dangerous illusion that everyone around him also had no ulterior motives… an illusion you didn't want to shatter because you loved him so much.

In reality, you weren't doing him any favors.

You were the calming, constant element that held all his pieces together, but in all your exercises and training, you never really taught him to manage on his own - not to just survive, as he's intelligent and resourceful enough for that, but to LIVE. Without you, he simply fell apart… turned into something he was never meant to be.

Too much love will kill you? True, in a way…

Unfortunately, by your blocking of the natural, less painful way of learning, he was eventually faced with the shock of meeting the real world he never fully recovered from. I know you don't recognize this silent, overly serious, bitter, introvert young man of today, because he is so unlike your little boy was. But the 'boy' is no more, I'm afraid; he perished forever and all that remains of him are far memories of you and him in your harmless little world.

'Tough love' is sometimes the greatest love you can give somebody, ESPECIALLY as a mother and a teacher.

He was doing fine while you were there to shield and protect him from all the ugly, obscene things the world can sometimes be. But exactly because of that lack of experience he failed to recognize the fangs of greed, deception and evil when they grinned in his face. All the unsuspecting boy saw, when he met his grandfather, was what you taught him to see, and was manipulated like a puppet for years, serving somebody else's filthy plans. It had almost cost him his life, that foolish naivete. How could have you be so credulous not to see that to raise a child that innocent, without giving him the full insight of the world, was basically condemning him to exploitation and death?

There is not much pity for the weak, sympathy for the misguided or admiration for those pure of heart in this world. Not everybody would mother him like you did... as he had learned the hard way.

Ironically, the very thing he was running away from, his evil self, had saved his life then and NOT any of your advises. Again; a blessing and a curse… but that's just the story of his life…

…and yours.

Why be surprised then when all that anger and hate bubbled up inside him? Why wonder why is he so distrusting and cautious, like a hunted animal, around people? Your original plan backfired at you, didn't it? I know you wept rivers of bitter tears, even after your Earthly death, as you watched him sink into pessimism and depression, but he couldn't hear you anymore…

Poor, poor soul. Didn't you know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions? Why did you think you could keep your biggest treasure safe and immaculate by locking it away? People we love are not valuable, inanimate items. By holding them in embrace that is too tight, we suffocate them, if they don't break free and push us away forever first.

Even all your unwavering faith and strength couldn't prevent the tragedy from happening. And yet, your strong feelings of love and duty are preventing you to let go, even now.

But…

Until you forgive yourself, your spirit will never peacefully rest. And you won't be able to forgive yourself before you see your son shake off the shackles of darkness you unintentionally bound him with. Fortunately, with the weight of tenebrous chains that pull him down towards hell, he also inherited your white wings for ascending to skies.

That's your greatest gift to him – a chance.

By trying to do everything right, you did so many things wrong… and life gave you no second chances, no opportunity to mend what's been broken. I know you feel you failed, betrayed your son in a way.

Don't be unfair to yourself, Jun…

The strong and tender love of a mother inside you touched me so deeply, I decided to grant you the chance life denied you. You are allowed to watch over him, even from where you are now, be his silent companion in times of grief, his helping hand in times of need. Even his conscience, if his soul's at stake…

God knows he needs all the help he can get, with the black hole of damnation he is facing.

After that final battle between light and darkness for your son's soul is over, you two will have to separate and you'll travel on, beyond this world. Your journey is far from over, Jun, and this is only one stage of it. Your will to sacrifice everything and your genuine regret are a blessing, because they moved me to let you help him, but are also a curse, because they are holding you back from your real purpose, your own journey of self-realization, progress and growth.

You being you, although understanding the true nature of such a bargain, decided to push yourself aside, again, and live for your child, even in death. Heaven smiles upon you, Jun, and all mothers like you.

Be blessed.

And only time will eventually tell will a fulfilled, peaceful soul move on, or will it be an inconsolable, grieving one. My heart is with you, always.

- - - - - - - -

Hmmm, I had no idea where would this fic go when I started it, and I must say I was a bit surprised when it ended like this. Guess I actually _like_ Jun in a way… before I just thought I was indifferent. Ah, you learn something every day ne? :)

Anyway, as I have given her little thought before this chapter, what I wrote here was basically my stream of thoughts, development of her character before your eyes. If some of you have given this lady some more analysis time, please share your visions. Now I'm curious. Hey, I even surprised myself with my OWN interpretation of her -

Thank you


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